Your Name: dash Johnson

Nickname: dammit dash!!

Secret Identity: it's a secret

Hometown: Flint, Michigan, no matter what they tell you.

High school mascot: only once, and I was drunk

Experience anywhere else: What has he told you?

Age: too old to be pulling this kind of crap, or so I've been told (repeatedly)

What you wish you could do for a living: my girlfriend and Scarlett Johansson (repeatedly)

Eye color: green and or brown

Shoe size: Not as big as Lisa's

Brand of cologne/perfume: on a woman Desperation.

Family Status: black sheep

Children: I refused to provide a sample. You can't prove anything.

Pets: heavily

Hobbies: posting use rear entrance signs on Planned Parenthood offices.

Time-killers: posting bail after violating Planned Parenthood's 5